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Quotes

Maherisms:

"You know, federal taxes last year went down for 98% of people, working families, individuals, almost everybody. And a spokesman for the tea-baggers said, 'We don't just want to be taxed less, we want to be taxed less by a white guy.'" -Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin got an iPad, and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent." -Bill Maher

"Glenn Beck is furious about that volcanic ash cloud from Iceland. He knows it's Obama's fault; he just can't figure out how." -Bill Maher

"Obama apparently bowed a little to the Chinese president. You know, for the amount of cash that we owe China, we're lucky he didn't have to kneel and blow him, for crying out loud." -Bill Maher

"Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces." -Bill Maher

"What is it with Mars? It just captures presidential imaginations. You know, for Obama, I guess it's the hope of a new frontier. For Bush, it was the likelihood of exploitable resources. And, of course, for Clinton, it was the possibility of green p***y." -Bill Maher

On Third Parties:

"Voting is not a horse race. You're not there to pick the winner. You're there to pick the person who most represents you." -Jesse Ventura

On Drugs and Religion:

"My mother told me before she passed on, she said the war on drugs is identical to the prohibition of alcohol. All you're doing when you prohibit something is letting criminals sell it and get rich and powerful." -Jesse Ventura

"I think you can be a religious person without belonging to one of these gangs." -Jesse Ventura

"I would like to have that question answered: why doesn't [the Catholic Church] fall under the federal RICO laws of organized crime? They're an organization involved in felonies." -Jesse Ventura

On Tea Baggers:

"'Well-educated,' apparently is very different than well-informed." -Bill Maher

"This [Tea Bagger] movement is not a monolith. I mean, it seems to me the worst representation is who is at the lectern, whether it's Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann, or, by extension, Glenn Beck." -David Remnick

"I mean, there seems to be something very combustible by having 10% unemployment and economic anxiety among a lot of people - that's legitimate - but also the presence of an African American president." -David Remnick

"The Republican base and the tea-baggers: same exact thing." -Bill Maher

"Once healthcare's expansion gets normalized and into the bloodstream of the American people and American life, that, too, will be sacrosanct." -David Remnick

On John McCain:

"John McCain is in a state of terrible confusion about himself." -David Remnick

"John McCain is now saying that he was never a maverick. And that is a phrase he's used in the title of his own book." -David Remnick

On The Mid-Term Elections:

"When you add 30 million people to the rolls of getting access to healthcare, it seems to me a huge gain, and the potential widening of the base for the Democratic Party among a lot of people who might not necessarily vote before. So, I don't think you're going to see a repeat of 1994 come this fall." -David Remnick

"If there isn't a change in people's job security, job prospects, then I think the Democrats are in trouble." -Laura Flanders

"If real estate doesn't crater again, then President Obama and the Democrats have a very good chance in November, much stronger than people think." -Simon Johnson

On Wall Street:

"It wasn't just people like Bill who were glazing over listening to their brokers, it was our pension funds that were being gambled in this stuff. Goldman Sachs was selling us stuff that they knew was going to crash." -Laura Flanders

On Taxes:

"There's the notion that somehow people are getting taxed to death relative to the rest of the world. This is not true." -David Reminck

"The IRS has sort of become an organ of social engineering in America, which it never used to be." -Bill Maher

"We should be taxing consumption more and income less. We should have a valued added tax. That's what most other countries who run sensible tax systems do." -Simon Johnson

On Nukes:

"The iconic Republican president, Ronald Reagan made the most beautiful speeches about the elimination of nuclear weapons." -Lawrence Bender

"So much of what Ronald Reagan was for, he would not even be allowed in the party now.  He raised taxes six times. He was for zero nuclear weapons. It's just insane where they've gone from then." -Bill Maher

"Israel is hard core. I love Israel. But, you know, if you fuck with them, they will blow the fuck out of you." -Bill Maher

"I would hope that if missiles were coming at this country, that our president would have the humanity to say, 'Even though we're going to be wiped out, I'm not going to wipe out the rest of humanity.'" -Bill Maher

"What the president did was very important at this summit he addressed in D.C., which is, he got the entire world to decide that they were going to secure all the nuclear materials in the world." -Lawrence Bender

"This is the kind of seriousness we were waiting for, for eight years with Bush in power and with other presidents. This is a hugely important issue." -David Remnick

On The Supreme Court:

"The one minority, the very large minority of atheists and agnostics, never even in the discussion. It's not even brought up, should we have an atheist on the Supreme Court, even though that would be fair. The least-served minority." -Bill Maher

"I'd be for an atheist. But, frankly, if I could just have a justice that didn't worship the god of Exxon and Goldman, I'd be happy." -Laura Flanders

"You should look for someone who doesn't think that corporations should have the same rights as people. That's the heart of the problem." -Simon Johnson

Episode 180

April 16, 2010