Guests: Ashton Kutcher, actor; Gen. Anthony Zinni (ret.), fmr. Commander in Chief of U.S. Central Command; Ross Douthat, journalist and blogger; Dana Gould, comedian; Brad Pitt, actor

Maherisms

Who knew that electing a black man with a foreign-sounding name would make rural white people insane?

If you're stuck on a plane that's not moving for more than five hours, you get to punch a baby.

If you care about the planet, it's actually better to eat a salad in a Hummer than a cheeseburger in a Prius.

On the Healthcare Debate

Nobody wants to kill grandma!  Ashton Kutcher

You know who should be compared to Hitler? Hitler. And maybe Chaplin.  Dana Gould

One way to tell your party is a bunch of p*ssies is when you're bullied by a chick on Facebook.  Bill Maher

It does seem to me a tad ironic that [Sarah Palin] is so against killing old people, considering she's the one who smothered the life out of the McCain campaign.  Bill Maher

People talk about America having a permanent under-class. We have a permanent 'anger class.'  Dana Gould

When you see [town hall meetings] devolving into talks of socialism and the dismantling of the country, no one is helped by this.  Brad Pitt

I thought liberals and Democrats were supposed to be instinctively distrustful of deals with insurance companies and pharmaceutical groups and so on.  Ross Douthat

Instead of promoting this healthcare plan that seems a lot more like a sick-care-plan, why don't we promote wellness within the system?  Ashton Kutcher

The people who should be angry, the people who have no healthcare and who are in physical pain, they seem to be completely calm.  Bill Maher

The Democrats, the supposed liberal party, have the conservative solution, and the conservative party has 'the world will end when Jesus tells it will end' solution.  Bill Maher

On Brady Pitt for Mayor

[I've] got no religion, legalization and taxation of pot, and pro-gay marriage, which is basically the 'Bill Maher Going Straight to Hell' campaign.  Brad Pitt

What I ought to do is run for governor and save the great state of Louisiana from Bobby Jindal.  Brad Pitt

I grew up in a religious family, in a religious community. And it just doesn't make sense to me.  Brad Pitt

On Republicans

It's dangerous when you have one party that has collapsed so much and another party that's so dominant. Our system is based on a balance of powers, and the loyal opposition has to be fairly represented.  Gen. Anthony Zinni

I do think we've reached a point where the Republican Party is down to such a core that the special interests aren't actually that interested in the Republican Party anymore.  Ross Douthat

On Ending the "War on Terror"

Declaring war on terrorism would have been like Woodrow Wilson declaring war on U-boat attacks. It's a tactic.  Gen. Anthony Zinni

On the President's Bad Habit

Barack Obama has taken up golf with a passion, and I feel betrayed. He campaigned as a basketball player!  Bill Maher

Seriously, golf is a slippery slope...First comes the golf attire, then the golf stories. And pretty soon, you're telling black jokes.  Bill Maher

One golf course in Palm Springs consumes as much water in a day as an American family does in four years. And all on grass that doesn't even get you high.  Bill Maher