Guests: Actor Alec Baldwin, reporter Christiane Amanpour, comedian Garry Shandling, and journalist Bob Woodward

On Sarah Palin

But, did you see the debate last night? Big ratings. And the big headline today is that she exceeded expectations. Which is like saying Andy Dick only drank half a bottle of Woolite. She - she kept saying that she represents "Joe Six-pack." You know what, sweetheart? If you get elected, Joe is going to need a lot more than a six-pack. He's going to be "Joe Prescription-Drug-Pack."  Bill Maher

I thought she won the first half hour, for sure, hands down. I think obviously Biden came back quite strong, and the polls all say that he won overall. She did the very clever thing of looking at the camera and talking directly to the people.  Christiane Amanpour

I thought she won the first two hours of that thing. I thought it was sort of endless... you have to give her credit because they took out the talent competition of the debate right before she went on. She was going to ice skate.  Garry Shandling

On Joe Biden

This is how I think he prepared for her, Bill: I think he watched tapes of how Johnny Carson used to deal with Charo. Is that about right? I salute Joe Biden- because she was this close to saying, "Cootchie-cootchie" at some point.  Garry Shandling

On McCain

No, he's getting desperate. His strategy for the next debate on Tuesday, is after he shakes hands with Obama, he's going to pretend his wallet is missing.  Bill Maher

John McCain cannot be saying, "We're winning the war in Iraq" at the same time we're going bankrupt. That means we're losing, because everybody has forgotten the connection - the planes hit the building - was an economic attack, am I correct? And if we didn't spend X-trillion into this war, we might be able to handle the housing issue. So anybody who says we're winning the war in Iraq, and the Treasury Secretary is saying we're two days from being bankrupt, excuse me! There's a lie going on here.  Garry Shandling

On President Bush

No, that's a fair and actually important question. If there was less terrorism, real democracy in the Middle East, genuine continuing stability; if some of the economic problems were solved. But, I - I think the economic crisis is - that we've only got a whiff of it now. As you noted, the rescue-bailout package passed today, and the stock market went down. What would have happened if it had not passed? So, we're in - in really serious economic trouble. And, you get into some of the numbers on this, and it is very scary.  Bob Woodward

On the Bailout

What do you think about, that the Congress today, they put $140 billion of pork on top of this bill? That's like an ambulance driver comes to your house and picks you up - you have a heart attack - and says, "You know, on the way to the hospital, can we stop and grab a drink at my friend's house?"  Alec Baldwin

Are they still calling it "bailout," because first it was a bailout; then they were rescuing meâ¬now I think they're raping me. I don't know, what's the order? How does that go?  Garry Shandling

Well, look, in Japan, they didn't move quickly enough in the early nineties, and that was considered a failure. There was paralysis. And it took the better part of ten years, if not more, to get Japan back on track. So, a lot of people who are looking from around the world are sort of praising the flexibility and the speed with which the U.S. government stepped in and did something. And both candidates have basically likened it to battlefield first aid. One called it a tourniquet, the other one called it - you know, "stop the bleeding."  Christiane Amanpour