What is Horny Patty looking for from "Richard"?
She wants as much as she can get from him. He's like crystal meth -- something that she's absolutely, absolutely thinking about all of the time and trying to figure out ways to get. And she's putting all of her sexual energy that she put into other things, like masturbating on couches, into figuring out how to be with him.
Do you think she deserves her nickname?
Oh yeah. It's actually nicer than what I thought they could call her.
What were you thinking?
Sometimes I think - and I'm not saying she's completely disgusting - but I think she would maybe wear the same not even Spanx, but some 80s girdle, too many days in a row. And she would maybe have an odor. She'd be like somebody who you'd think "Dang, she smells weird." Or the fact that she's not a great dresser. She wears these 80s sweaters with shoulder pads and everything's really tight; that person where you're like, "Oh, she's sexual. That's gross." She could be called a million things, but the fact that it's "Horny," that's not so bad. The fact that it's sexual is actually kind of flattering.
Love the pink nightie.
I haven't seen it yet! That fills me with horror. It was three months after giving birth and I said "I'm fatter," and they said "Perfect!" And when I came in they wanted me to be fully naked. I said "You don't want that." And everyone thought I was being ridiculous and the director said "Let me see you." So I opened up my robe and flashed her and she said, "Oh my God, they look like breast feeding boobs. Cover them!" And the poor costume people had to find a way to cover me so it still looked sexual and graphic, but you weren't seeing my gigantic nipples and my fat stomach. So I'm really looking forward to seeing that.
But I do imagine her with all of this Victoria's Secret stuff she's bought on sale over the years. Neon green and silky tiger prints with bad faux fur. Stuff she's had forever that she takes very good care of - the rest of her clothes, not so much. But in her private time she would make herself dinner and put on one of her old Victoria's Secrets purple satin outfits and watch some nature TV and masturbate.
A lot of your own comedy work and writing deals with women's body image issues. Did you have any qualms about taking on Horny Patty?
When they called me about the audition and they said the name of the role was "Horny Patty" I thought "If there is a God, let this happen." And then I thought, wait -- is she supposed to be super hot? Because I was pregnant then and heavier and I was like, I can't pull that off at all. And then they kept hitting it so hard: "Do you understand there is going to be nudity." I'd just lived in Amsterdam for five years. So I had the nudity thing down. People would serve dinner there, naked: "Oops I for-got to poot my cloze on!" So I was like, "I don't care about being naked!" And then as soon as I got the part, I was like, "Oh my God. I care." But it's actually not much of an issue. I like the reality of it.
You have some athletic dates with Ray. Is that your choreography?
That's all Horny Patty coming up with exactly what she wants to do. This is the fantasy of the giant Ken doll who shows up in your room, naked. No one's going to ever find out. And he's all yours. Which actually was a childhood fantasy of mine. So it worked out well.
What's up with the snow globes?
When you first meet Patty she's talking about going to Sea World by herself. I believe that she goes on these trips alone. And she plans them like you would a family vacation. And when she's there, she buys a snow globe. She started that when she was little, like the time she went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
What's your favorite thing about Horny Patty?
That she's buck wild; she's like "Aaaa!" That's where Horny Patty puts me to shame. If I had a male prostitute, I'd be like "I don't care, you do what you wanna do." And then resent him for not doing a better job. She knows what she wants and is jumping into it fiercely.
Favorite childhood toy: This life-sized stuffed animal that you could attach to your feet and hands and dance with it.
Favorite adult toy: iPod. Is that boring?
If I were in charge I'd___________: Have everybody naked for five minutes.
Ken or Barbie? Now you're trying to figure out if I'm gay? What is the word on me? I have a low voice! Is this some kind of test? I'm gonna say Barbie. But then you're gonna say that's what I want. Whatever. That's fine. I have a big gay following in Seattle.
I'd blackmail someone for_______________: Regular health care.