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HBO: This film is about as personal as it gets. What compelled you to make it?
Adrian Grenier: I was looking for a film project to undertake one summer. I've always heard to explore what you know, but I take that to mean "explore what is personal to you", so I decided to explore what I didn't know; my father.
HBO: How did you feel about your father when you first decided to make the film, and did your feelings change by the end of it?
Adrian Grenier: Quite honestly, I never felt an extreme deficit. I always had a significant stability growing up with my mom and other father figures. I saw so many people around me with "worse" situations, and besides, none of my friends growing up in NY had a complete unit family. I think the whole "family values" movement really put a strain on us who didn't have that perfect unit family. We were stigmatized. But I didn't have a white picket fence either, cause they don't have those in New York. Meeting my father and getting to know him was a great opportunity for both of us to make that final step into maturity. We were able to leave all the potential bitterness and resentment behind in order embrace what the future might hold. We've yet to see the extent of what can be realized.
HBO: What did you learn about fatherhood from the many people you interviewed?
Adrian Grenier: I learned that certain people have an incredible capacity for transcending hardship. Some had less than ideal parents and often parents that were abusive, and still they were able to find love and embrace life. I found this to be incredibly inspiring! It is in a lot of ways the hidden meaning in Shot In The Dark. Life is what you make it, despite the rain.
HBO: Do you think fathers fulfill something that mothers cannot?
Adrian Grenier: Of course there are different roles that mothers and fathers play naturally, or should I say traditionally. But I do not believe we are limited to those roles as dictated by our gender. We all have the ability to embrace the many facets of ourselves and reach out to people and children in the ways that they are needed. If a youngster needs a hug and a kiss I would not necessarily run off to find the mother, and conversely if the child needs some discipline, I know a woman is infinitely capable of demonstrating that strength and structure. I think as we evolve the roles of men and women blur.
HBO: How did it feel to embrace your father for the first time after not seeing him for 18 years?
Adrian Grenier: It felt good because I had a certain ineffable love for him, tracing back to when I was four years old. But it was awkward because I felt as if I was required to act a certain way, or react dramatically for the big reunion scene in the documentary. It was difficult to be the filmmaker and experience real life moments sometimes. ( I was also worried that Mickey was in the shot in the background, which he was by the way)
HBO: Do you have any thoughts or advice for others who've grown up without a father in their life?
Adrian Grenier: The purpose of my Documentary is to demystify the stigmas of being without a perfect unit family or without a father or mother. Don't let the missteps of you parents hold you down. Don't let their mistakes make you bitter. We can all be victims if we choose to; we can all find a reason, if we want, to divert the responsibility of our lives to others. Try not to cast judgment on your parents, for they too have their story, and perhaps their own fears. If you can learn to forgive and extend your heart, you will be on your way to a stable future, even without traditional parental guidance.
HBO: What do you hope audiences will take away from the film?
Adrian Grenier: I want people to think about the relative nature of our emotions and thoughts. Think about the roles we play to ourselves and others and why. Where are these roles taught and why do we hold on to these identities so whole heartedly even when they seem to be destructive. I think all the lessons in the movie are in the first quote. I would like people to take the quote with them and reflect on how it is relevant to the movie and their own lives.
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