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Charles Todd Caldwell,
Massachusetts, U. S. National Guard
Submitted by Margaret Caldwell
My Story:
Well I should start by saying Todd and I were engaged back in 2002 for a wedding planned for June 28,2003. Before the talk of war, we had everything going for us. I was 29 and he was 37. We had almost everything all set for the wedding when Todd was told there unit was activated. He was from a Military Police Unit from Cranston,RI. This was his first deployment. That was Jan. 30, when I got the call at work that they were getting ready to go. All this time of planning a wedding, I wasnt sure, should I, or not, because there was always a chance that they wouldnt go anywhere. But we continued to plan yet, this time it was certain. Four days later we were married on a Tuesday at City Hall--the least romantic day of the week. As soon as the ceremony was over and we were on our way to the restuarant to meet more family and friends, Todd got another phone call to say he had to report the next morning at 5am; that they were going to war with in the next few days.
That was Feb. 4th, their unit went to Ft. Drum and then off to Kuwait and Iraq. The phone calls were so infrequent and the letters came 2-3 weeks after the postmark. And when we could talk it was only for 10 minutes. Someone gave me the idea of recording messages on a miny tape recorder. So we did, we sent tape recorder messages, an hour long, each of them. I have a total of 12 or so which are the best idea someone could of given me. We would ramble on the tapes about getting on with our married life together as soon as he got back. We fantasized over the honeymoon to Hawaii we never got to have. We thought about baby names for our future children we wanted to have. He made me laugh, and he said I could calm him down with just the sound of my voice. Out of all the letters we sent to each other, these tapes meant so much more.
Todd's unit went to Fallajah, working with the 3rd ID on doing house to house raids and training the Iraqi police These "weekend warriors" were on the front lines. He never gave me details on what they did b/c he didnt want me to worry. But I knew it wasnt safe and just looked forward to the phone calls I recieved to tell me he was ok. With all the complaining Todd did about how hot it was or all the other crap that was going on, I could tell he so proud of what he was doing. He kept promising me to "make it home to me in one piece, safe and sound." He promised. He promised we would live until we were 100 yr old together; that this was just a moment in time and after this it would be all better; that we could be a family.
After the 3 months in Fallajah, the unit moved to Ballad, which was "safer" and all they were doing was convoy missions.
They were at the time scheduled to come home in December, it was now the end of August. "Just a little longer" we told each other, we have only a little longer to go. A few weeks before Sept. 1st, I woke up from a dream, crying, thinking and saying to myself , "I'm never going to see him again". But it was almost September, and they were coming home soon, that they were on the home stretch. The day he was killed, I felt sad, I didnt know why and I wasnt told yet of anything that happened. But there was a saddness, and I couldnt understand why. I said to myself I just spoke to him yesterday, and he's going to call tomorrow and everything will be ok. But that phone call never came. That night at midnight, I got a knock on my door to tell me that Todd was killed, along with another soldier on a convoy mission by an roadside bomb. That day was the day my nightmare began; Sept. 1st, 2003
The letters and tapes kept coming for about a month after he was killed. The postman would come to my door and ring the door bell to hand deliver my mail so nothing would be lost.
I still listen to the tapes now and then. He can still make me laugh and smile like no one else can. One night I grabbed a tape ad played it with this message.
"I know it's hard and you miss me, but look up at the stars and know I'm giving you a hug from 10,000 miles away and I'm never going to let go; ever."
So everynight, when the sky is clear, I look up at the stars and know he's there, looking down at me, smiling.
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