HBO: Welcome to today's chat with Janeane Garofalo.
HBO: Feel free to toss out any question you like, and don't hold back, 'cause you know she won't!
HBO: Are you comfortable? Good.
HBO: Let the chatting begin.
HBO: Send in your questions for Janeane now!

HBO: Please welcome Janeane Garofalo!!
Janeane Garofalo: Hello! If there is anyone out there, I thank you for taking the time and the interest in asking me a question.

Doug Ecks: What are your feelings on the direction comedy is going in the near future?
Janeane Garofalo: Well, it seems to be pretty consistently moving in the same direction it has been for the last 10 years. Even though there is more sophomoric humor, there is also more thought provoking humor as a foil to that.

Norman Killwell: In your opinion, is loneliness next to jumpiness?
Janeane Garofalo: Hmmm. I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

Elroy: Reagan used to say the worst thing about being famous was not being able to browse the magazines at the drugstore. Do you ever feel the same way?
Janeane Garofalo: No. I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

Quixote: Can you describe your writing process? When, what, and how do you find the best time to write? And how do you fit it all into that notebook!
Janeane Garofalo: I always carry a notebook around in my knapsack, so whenever an idea strikes me, I write it in the notebook When the notebook is full, I procure a new notebook.

Libra: Of the self-help/spirituality industry that you parody, who is your favorite speaker/writer?
Janeane Garofalo: Dr. Phil. I like to rock the Dr. Phil workbook. I love Dr. Phil!

Elroy: I saw your article in Rolling Stone. Do you plan on doing more writing?
Janeane Garofalo: Did I have an article in Rolling Stone? And yes.

Da Bear: Of all the roles that are available to play, if you could choose a role -- non-fiction and fictional -- what role(s) would you most want to portray?
Janeane Garofalo: I would like to do any adaptations of Edith Wharton or Jane Austin's novels. Also, I would like to have played Valerie Solanas and Dorothy Parker, but they have already been played, and done quite well.

Elroy: Was writing for "Saturday Night Live" really the hell you say it was?
Janeane Garofalo: I can't believe that question still comes up. Suffice it to say, it was not a perfect fit at the time.

Da Bear: Who are the women in film that you most admire; likewise, who are the men?
Janeane Garofalo: Holly Hunter, Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Anne Bancroft, and Catherine Keener. As of the men, I like Mark Ruffalo, Liev Schreiber, Steve Coogan, and Frank Harper.

Drugstore Cowgrrl: Hi, Janeane. What is your favorite type of music to listen to?
Janeane Garofalo: Right now, I have Badly Drawn Boy on maximum rotation. I love Brit pop!

Crystal: What do you enjoy the most about being a comedian?
Janeane Garofalo: The ability to express yourself in a very simple, straightforward manner, and, hopefully, others will enjoy what you have to say.

Da Bear: Is it still within your plans to do a talk show? Would you prefer to do a radio or television talk show?
Janeane Garofalo: It has always been in my plans to do a radio talk show, never a television talk show. And yes, talk radio is still something that I desire to pursue in the future.

AR: I've noticed there are many listings for you on Napster. How do you feel about this form of copyright infringement, and do you think it will have an effect on you as far as film, TV, and your own stand-up?
Janeane Garofalo: I was actually not aware that there were any listings for me on Napster. It's fine with me. I don't have a negative opinion on it. If anyone is exposed, and there is material of mine that they can see on Napster, then I'm pleased that they can see it.

Vinyl Diva: Doing stand-up comedy, did you ever have a night where you completely bombed? If so, how did you deal with it?
Janeane Garofalo: I've had more nights than I can possibly mention of complete bombing. I vacillate between self-pity and contempt for the audience, and then I eat something and go straight to bed.

Da Bear: I understand that Steven Spielberg is an admirer of yours. Have the two of you discussed the possibility of you acting in one of his upcoming movies?
Janeane Garofalo: I have never heard that he was an admirer of mine. If he is an admirer of mine, I am unaware of it. I would think he wouldn't even know who I was, but I'm certainly willing to meet him for lunch.

Da Bear: What movie role allowed you the most input into your character's personality and scripted lines?
Janeane Garofalo: I would say a number of them, including "The Minus Man," "The Search for John Gissing," "Wet Hot American Summer," and "Sweethearts."

Geo Man: Of all the actors that you've acted with so far, whom in particular would you like to act with again, and why?
Janeane Garofalo: Vince D'onofrio and Vince Vaughn, because they are tremendously talented, and you can learn a lot from both of them.

Vinyl Diva: Janeane, what advice would you give to a person who is just getting into stand-up comedy?
Janeane Garofalo: My advice would be don't take any advice from anyone.

Jarin: I'm a big fan of yours. What aspects do you look for when choosing a movie role?
Janeane Garofalo: Either A - good story; B - great director; or C - good cast. If any of those elements are in play, it's an appealing project to try and be a part of.

Time And Space: What form of comedy is your favorite to perform? To watch?
Janeane Garofalo: Just straight stand-up is my favorite form of comedy, without any kind of 'bells and whistles'--just straight ahead, one person, one microphone, stand-up comedy.

Jeff: When Elvis first started, he had people telling him to keep his day job. Did this happen to you too at first?
Janeane Garofalo: Oh, my gosh! I have been doing stand-up for about 16 years now, and for the first five years, people would work really hard to get me to reconsider my career choices. They thought they were helping.

Grizzly: What woman in history, past or present, has had the most profound impact on your life? Likewise, what man?
Janeane Garofalo: I wouldn't say impact, but I would say admiration for a number of women, including Margaret Sanger, Emily Hahn, and Hillary Clinton. I would say the males are, Martin Luther King, and Ralph Nader.

Lucky Kitty: Do you think you will ever stop doing stand-up?
Janeane Garofalo: No. As of right now, I will not stop doing stand-up.

Alex: Do you consider yourself more of an actress or a comic?
Janeane Garofalo: A comic.

Time And Space: Have you ever felt that you went too far doing a comedy routine?
Janeane Garofalo: Yes. At certain live performances, I have gotten too worked up about things that aren't important enough to inspire that kind of hostility. I feel badly afterwards when I become hostile on stage, because it's just not necessary.

Aspen Chris: What is your take on reality based television?
Janeane Garofalo: Well, from what little I have seen, I find it very unwatchable, because there is the Hawthorn Effect that is always in effect, meaning that there is no reality when the participants know they are being watched to the public. Therefore, to me, it's a moot point, and it's not interesting.

Armondo: If you had never gone to that open mic night, what direction do you think your life would have taken?
Janeane Garofalo: I would have gone to another open mic night. There was no other decision. I made the decision to go into comedy one way or the other, and there was no other option.

Miss Q: Can you recall your worst stand-up experience?
Janeane Garofalo: There are so many, but I guess I'll say the Hyatt Hotel in Houston, Texas is right up there in about 1987 when myself and David Cross were fired. Oh, there are so many! Brownsville, Texas, I was fired again, midweek. London England, I was basically heckled off the stage in 1989. Things of that nature. Not enough time to get into it all.

Recon: What do you think of the recent Tom and Nicole split?
Janeane Garofalo: It will probably affect me the same way that their marriage did, which is not at all.

Jaci: You and Ben Stiller go way back. Wow did you guys first meet?
Janeane Garofalo: We met at Canter's Deli in Los Angeles. We started to hang around together, and then we started working together. That's how it happened--over late night matza ball soup.

Virtual Mirage: Does comedy run in the family?
Janeane Garofalo: No. I am the first person to enter show business in my entire family tree. Although, I would say my siblings and parents are accidentally funny.

Water Wings: If you were trapped in a room for 24 hours and could only watch one television show or movie, what would it be?
Janeane Garofalo: I would watch "Space Ghost," the TV show, and "Space Ghost," the movie.

Mes: When you first started out doing comedy, who were the comics you looked up to?
Janeane Garofalo: Albert Brooks, Paula Poundstone, Sandra Bernhard, Bill Hicks, Woody Allen, Chris Elliott, and Ellen DeGeneres.

Jim: Once you get what you're looking for, would you walk away from fame?
Janeane Garofalo: Well, I don't know particularly what I'm looking for, short of trying to sustain a career that is both personally fulfilling and profitable. That is an on-going process, so you don't walk away from a long-term career. So hopefully, I can sustain a long-term career.

Xscotto: What young comedians should we look out for?
Janeane Garofalo: Karen Killgaris, Mary Lynn Rajskupb, Gregg Behrent, Zack Galisinkis, and Jennifer McLean.

Go Get Her Ray: Bill Murray once commented that it's a lot easier for a comedian to make the transition into drama than vice versa. Do you feel having a comic persona has facilitated your acting any?
Janeane Garofalo: It's very helpful as a comic to be cast in films and TV shows, because, a lot of times, producers or casting directors will see you perform at a club and just give you the benefit of the doubt and cast you in a film or TV show without having to go through the audition process. Doing stand-up comedy gives you a lot of what it takes to deliver on film, I find. A lot of comics are very good comics, but not a lot of actors are good comics. It doesn't seem to flip flop as well, from acting to comedy.

Dawn: Is there any film you'd love to appear in the remake of? And which character would that be?
Janeane Garofalo: That's a tough one. Anything that you love in its original form, you don't want to remake, because it seems blasphemous. I can't really answer that, because my most beloved films, I would not want to remake.

A Gonzo: Any embarrassing stories of you on the stand-up circuit that you wish to tell?
Janeane Garofalo: There are a million of them. I don't wish to tell, but thank you for asking.

Blues Grrl: Where do you live most of the time?
Janeane Garofalo: New York City.

Jerry Lewis Is Wrong: Since you travel for comedy, what's your favorite city in the US to visit?
Janeane Garofalo: San Francisco, Austin, and Savannah.

Pop Loser: How do you feel about fans approaching you on the street or in a shop? Do you find it flattering or annoying?
Janeane Garofalo: Very flattering, unless the person is, in fact, annoying. Then, it is merely annoying.

Police: In the movies, I've seen you with tattoos. Were any of them real? Do you have any tattoos or other forms of body art?
Janeane Garofalo: They are all real, and I have eleven tattoos.

Jerry Lewis Is Wrong: Do you watch or play sports?
Janeane Garofalo: No, sir. I do not.

J-Fan: Would you ever consider doing an improvisational show like "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
Janeane Garofalo: No, because I am woefully inadequate in that department. I am far too self-conscious to participate in that format.

Janeane Garofalo: Does always being sarcastic on stage carry over to your real life and make you kind of insane sometimes?
Janeane Garofalo: I think I am misunderstood. I do not believe that I am 100 percent sarcastic. It is a comedian's sort of job to be a social critic, and inherent in critique is a bit of cynicism, a bit of sarcasm, and a bit of pragmatism. An upbeat, optimistic comic is not a particularly interesting one, but I am no more sarcastic than the average person--on stage or in life. So no, it does not drive me insane.

Steph: Do you see yourself doing another TV series?
Janeane Garofalo: Yes, I do. I am currently developing one for HBO.

HBO: Janeane, it's been a gas chatting with you this evening, but we are just about out of time! Do you have any parting thoughts for us?
Janeane Garofalo: I thank you all. I apologize for the lack of excitement in my answers, but the altitude has rendered me incapable of amusing and pithy answers that would cause you to smile, perhaps chuckle out loud, and perhaps repeat to your friends the hilarious things Janeane Garofalo said. If it is any consolation, "The Sopranos" debuts tomorrow night, and I'm sure you can enjoy that for two hours. With many apologizes, and many more good wishes, I take my leave of this chat room. Good night.

HBO: Thanks for coming out to chat with Janeane Garofalo.
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