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Directed by: David Steinberg
Written by: Heather Morgan
Summary
Valerie is excited for the unveiling of her reality show - so excited, in fact, that she's picked out her own theme song, "I will survive," and barely flinches when she comes upon the promotional poster.
The only obstacle left is the sitcom, which has yet to deliver a big Aunt Sassy moment that the reality show can promote. When Jane informs Tom and Paulie G. they have a contractual obligation to write a bigger bit for her star, Paulie G. cusses out the network. Fortunately Tom comes through, offering to write in a good pratfall scene.
Now that Juna has a stalker, security has been tightened on the set, and Valerie sets off the metal detector -- forcing her to explain to the cast and crew that she had scoliosis as a girl, and now has a metal rod in her back. When Jane presses her to talk about it, Val spins a breezy tale of her always-active life, including a stint on the field hockey team... during which she showed up every day in a uniform and cheered on the others from the sidelines. "They didn't let me in the picture though," she finally reveals, tears welling to the surface.
But she finally does get into the picture, and pulls off her big pratfall scene - dressed as a giant cupcake. And when Paulie G. makes a rude comment about her back, she slugs him in the gut - bringing up his day's lunch (tequila and pizza). The icing on the cupcake comes when the reality show producers allow her to sing the theme song to her show, which she belts out with gusto. "You think I'd crumble! You think I'd lay down and die, Oh no not I!"
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